Heaven Is Alive

Drugged up and laid out looking at my med spread,
my friends never came out, something that i probably said.
I dont know who and why but i know i'm gonna die.
I just wish I woulda shoulda coulda if i really tried.
The Doctor comes to scratch and sniff,
The Nurse comes to poke and pry,
Acting if hed really wished i was going to survive.
Looking out the window i can see the possibilities,
Chances I will never get, people i will never see.
The person I will never be, the family that I'll never have,
The opportunities that slipped away that i could never grabbed.
I wonder if knew about it, maybe done it differently,
Never hurt so many people maybe found a family.
Maybe medicated sooner Giving me more time to play,
Doesn't matter anyways i wouldn't have no cash to pay.
My mother comes to see me but her eyes are full of agony,
Fathers too, every time they look their look is stabbin me.
I Just wanna drift away giving them a better day,
giving me some peace from the ills and the pills ...